Within Walls Chapter 22

While many buildings still stood, few remained as they were.

22

The run through Hyr Yugehn brought Mebre through familiar spaces now changed. While many buildings still stood, few remained as they were. Shattered roof tiles littered the path. She passed people as well, though she did not look. She had no doubt that if Ehrten had been within sight, she’d have gone with her to help, but her heart and thoughts would have been at home, imagining devastation.

What she feared never came. Slowing once she was in sight, Mebre mouthed, “of course”. Her voice was reduced to a hoarse wheeze through desiccated lips. The house stood straighter than any of its neighbors. Beylem was on a ladder inspecting the roof’s bald spots: the majority of its tiles remained.

Zayaf emerged from the door and walked in the direction of the ladder before stopping and, with a shout of joy, launching into a run of her own, ending in a twirling embrace that lifted Mebre from the ground.

Mebre was still breathless and wheezing when she was returned to her feet.

“Oh sweetie, I was so worried. Where were you?”

“I was…” Mebre started, but needed more air. “On the…” Another breath. “Boat.”

“Oh honey, sit yourself down. Did you run all the way here?” Zayaf put an arm around Mebre and half dragged her to the front steps.

Mebre was glad to sit, her legs aching.

Zayaf’s hand remained on Mebre’s back, feeling like an anchor.

The neighboring buildings were in tough shape: collapsed roofs, or buckling walls, but nothing like Hyr Golos had been.

“We were lucky, sweetie. Beylem says the roof is mostly sound and he didn’t see any other damage.” Zayaf’s fingers began tapping in a calming rhythm.

The strike of those fingertips reminded Mebre of Ehrten’s drumming and her eyes focussed through the houses across the street past the Hyr Tree square to the claimed villa where Ehrten and Kerahl lived. That was where she wanted to be, where she was supposed to be. The run here had gotten her the only thing she needed: confirmation that she wasn’t needed, that she was free. But it had been a mistake.

Mebre shook her head. That thought was wrong. Zayaf had needed her, needed to know that she was safe. Leaving Ehrten hadn’t been just for her own sense of security. Mebre doubted her own justification even as she summoned it.

She stood up, hands clenched. Her thoughts ran in directions she didn’t want them to. She tried to chase them down, but like marshweed seeds in the wind, catching one sent the others off in looping drifts.

“Mebre, what’s wrong, dear?”

“I have to go.” Mebre didn’t wait for an answer. Her legs churned, the ache in her side was at least as much regret as it was breathlessness.

As Mebre ran, she tried imagining her arrival. Ehrten was there, the villa was fine. Mebre’s apology was met with a hug. The image cheered her momentarily before doubt ran it down. The scene in her mind changed: the house was still fine, but Ehrten’s arms were crossed, Mebre’s words did nothing. She shook that sight away. Then the villa was in ruins, Ehrten knelt by a hand sticking out. Mebre stumbled, her legs leadened. She sank to the ground. Standing, she brought back the first. Even if it was nothing but hope, it was why she was willing to run.

Everything hurt when Mebre, gasping, reached the first of the villas. The outer wall crumbled in spots, the inner building a collapsed ruin: frame beams sticking out like bones from a corpse of plaster and brick. Mebre crushed down her despair. Exhaustion receded, need pushed Mebre on.

The other villas showed lesser degrees of destruction, but never none. When Mebre reached the villa Ehrten and Kerahl had claimed she let out a long exhale. The building looked fine, some broken windows, but structurally intact, even the outer wall was more or less straight.

Mebre opened the gate and walked up to the entrance. She stopped in front of the door, shaking. She blinked hard and breathed deep to dislodge her doubts. She reached for the handle.

The door moved inwards, away from her fingers, in the open space stood Ehrten, glaring. The anger in her eyes hit Mebre like a rock.

“Ehrten I…” Mebre’s apology went unfinished under that heavy stare. She’d thought she was ready, but preparation crumbled under that glare.

Ehrten turned and disappeared into the house.

“Ehrten!”

Hollow echoes and receding footsteps answered.

“Ehrten?”

The footsteps were gone.

Ehrten walking away sucked the air from Mebre. The weight she felt, regret hanging on her, pressed in. Dark spots crowded her sight and the world seemed to spin.

Steadying herself with a hand on the door frame, Mebre forced her lungs to fill, willed her heart to slow. When the breeze lifted the rogue curls that had loosened from her kerchief, the cool relief lessened the clench she felt. She raised her eyes and saw that the door in front of her had remained open.

Hope sprouted: had Ehrten intended Mebre to follow?

Mebre took a tentative step over the threshold.

“Ehrten? I’m coming in.”

No answer.

The entry hall went a short distance before turning left and opening into a sitting room with large bay windows facing out and a series of smaller arched windows looking into the courtyard. The inner windows were all cracked, and the courtyard was littered with roofing debris. The floor of the room was sprinkled with the jagged remains of decorative vases.

“Mebre?” Kerahl’s voice came from one of the side doors. “I think Ehrten’s going to need a little time.”

Mebre turned and gasped. Kerahl stood with the help of a broom, bristle end tucked into her armpit. Her left leg was wrapped, the foot held a little above the floor.

“What happened?” Concern pulled Mebre’s words taut.

“The house shook, I was in bed, when I got up the wardrobe fell over and pinned my leg beneath it. That was how Ehrten found me.”

“Where is she? I need to talk to her.”

Kerahl shook her head in a slow tight lipped arc. “That’s not a good idea right now.”

Mebre felt a squeeze in her chest. “I have to say sorry to her. I have to.”

“Yes, you do.” Kerahl’s cheeks pulled back into a smile that wasn’t joyful. Placing her shoulder against the wall, she shifted her weight off of the makeshift crutch. “I know you have no control over this, but Ehrten is still suffering from Seyneb’s disappearance. When you left without saying anything…”

A ringing deep in Mebre’s ears cut off the rest of Kerahl’s words. Mebre found herself sitting on a chair armrest as images of what she did and what she could have done flashed through her thoughts. Nausea crept in while Mebre sat with what Ehrten must have felt when she realized Mebre was gone.

Kerahl’s hand was on Mebre’s shoulder when the ringing stopped and Mebre blinked her way back to the present. Mebre placed her hand atop Kerahl’s, gently squeezing, and held it there a while. She looked up and forced a smile.

“I’ll come back tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow might be too soon, Ehrten can be quick to feel, but slow to heal. Give her time.”

It wasn’t the answer Mebre wanted, but it also wasn’t the one she feared. She filled her lungs, straining less now. Ehrten’s friendship would return when she was ready: that’s what Kerahl said. Mebre gave a single nod and stood.

Kerahl’s eyes crinkled at the corners with care: mother eyes. “I’m glad you two found each other.”

Those words stopped Mebre’s breath and she found herself hugging Kerahl. It wasn’t the embrace she’d hoped for on the way, but it was close.

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